"All babies want to get bornd!"
Do all babies really want to get 'bornd'? I mean think about it. If a fetus had any idea of what was out here and what their parents were like, would they make the choice of wanting to be born? And being human beings could it be possible that babies could have 'behavioral problems'? I mean what if the baby is bipolar? That would make a lot of sense, if you think about it. They laugh and gurgle and giggle, then they cry like the demons of the fiery deep are stomping through the their innards. Babies are also very cute, even if they're ugly. If you don't believe me that babies can be ugly then you are probably a woman, and you just won't admit to it because of some maternal instinct. Simply put, SOME babies are just motherfucken ugly, usually due to inbreeding. Ugliness of an infant is not always due to physical deformities caused by extra chromosomes or problematic birthing. For evidence just look at a baby with Downs, they always look cute. Or an infant with some kind of palsy, always cute! You may feel sorry for them but you also think "Isn't he/she precious!"
So... back on topic. We can never know if all babies want to get 'bornd'. One day, we may be able to. So with that said STOP THE PROTESTS AGAINST ABORTIONS WHILE STATING WHAT YOU FEEL AN UNBORN FETUS MAY OR MAY NOT BE THINKING ABOUT AS THE BASIS OF YOUR STANCE AGAINST ABORTION! This should be some new club or lobby group called STP AA WS WY FAUF MOM NB TAAT TOY SAA. If you feel that you must protest against abortions then do so, but keep the unknown thoughts of the fetus out of it.
"You should go to China they give away babies like free iPods... you know they shoot them out of those t-shirt canons at sporting events."
If you feel that you would like a child and you don't want to add to the world's population then adopt. Go ahead and do it, but don't be like some of the goddamn over-protective-totalitarian-power-tripping-dick-parents that I have met. That whole situation only spells trouble. I believe if you want to adopt than love the child just as you would your own, and make sure you know what the hell you are getting into. If you do want to adopt a baby you could always go to China and watch a soccer game, you just might catch an infant flying out at 200mph (faster than birth by the way) while sitting in the stands.
"Would you like a free condom? They're boysenberry flavoured... They make my boyfriend's junk smell like pie"
If you do not want a child then use a condom, a sponge(not very effective by the way), the pill, depovera, IUD, the morning after pill, get a vasectomy, get a tubal ligation, castration, remove your uterus, or at least the ovaries, become homosexual (not actually a choice but it can be if you try real hard! but not likely), only have anal intercourse (not recommended due to prolapsed sphincters can be a side effect if done too often or when something too big is used), only have oral sex (make sure both parties have proper dental hygiene, and no cancer sores! Herpes, the proof that love truly burns!), or simply abstain; just not have sex (NOT FUN!). There you have it! All of the options I could think of to avoid growing a parasite in your gut.
All quotes taken from the 20th Century Fox film Juno(2008)
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