A Somber Begining

So we begin... again.

This is by no means my first blog, you could call this my fourth. Unlike my other blogs, I won't be using any defined theme. Having a defined theme can sometimes be rather liberating. You only have one thing to write about and thus you could only think about one constant that you could write about. I've stopped a few of my fictionalized blogs because I noticed that whatever I wrote into them they were no longer in my possession. Funny how a little line in an agreement article could quash all inspiration. In hindsight what I wrote was complete and total crap, so no loss on my part. We should not concern ourselves with these past attempts of being an author. Instead let us focus on the reason why I'm writing now.

As many of you should know by now the municipality of Iqaluit loss three lives, and so did my step-mother's family. I cannot say that I knew them well, outside of saying they were nice, good, and showed love and care regardless to the connection was either through a direct bloodline, or simply having a close family connection. I do not spend much time with a lot of my relatives and vice versa; we are too different to have any real connection. We love for the sake of loving those that you need to. I like most of my family, with a few exceptions leaning outside an immediate connection, like second cousins and such. It is no secret that I am related to hundreds of people in this town, and not all of them are good people. What I guess I'm getting at is that losing any of my relatives is difficult, losing three in a horrific scene just a block from my father's home was devastating. Especially when the day before, at 7 am I learned a woman passed away, a woman who I have known for sixteen years, and whom I have accepted as a surrogate grandmother. She had cancer, and was bed ridden with a lot of pain. I am glad that she is no longer in pain, but with the same token I was hoping to see her this December. I have not seen her in a few years, and have been trying to make time, but alas each time I've gone down I had to visit a dying relative, to make sure I say my goodbyes and make sure that I learn as much about my family's history. It is important to know where you come from. There is always the chance that you will have a brood of your own and they will undoubtedly have questions about where their family comes from. All in all it hurts to hear that she has left us. To deal with death hurts, and to deal with deaths one after another, after another, after another, and after another, is devastating to the core.

I will be fine, there is no doubt about that. But at the same time I am in pain. As the day is brighten by the rise of the Sun, so is the heart, mind, and soul are mended. I normally can deal with loss pretty well, but I have never had to deal with it such quick succession and in great numbers. Before I end this post I would like to point out that this will not be the tone of this journal, but with every begining I believe it is fitting to start it with darkness, just to show the light creeping in.